Crazy Flatmates Annoying

For The Love Of WISE Place

Yesterday I gave a talk about my experience being homeless. It was fun. The event was called “For The Love OF Wise Place“. It was held at the home of Claire who owns the non-profit called Divine Choices. It was up in the hills of Tustin in a beautiful home that reminded me of Woodland Hills.

I wasn’t really even nervous. The speech went like this;

I never expected that I would end up homeless. I grew up in an upper-middle class family in a beautiful home. But, there was domestic violence, abuse and alcoholism that would continue to affect me well into my adult years, without me really realizing it.

As a young woman, I married and moved to Sacramento. Shortly after buying a house, my marriage totally unraveled and I divorced. Years later I let go of my precious little house and moved back to Orange County. This was when my life got much more difficult because the cost of living was twice that of Sacramento, and my skill-set was lacking. I knew nothing about computers so I decided to enroll in college, while living in a very small apartment. College was a lifelong dream of mine.

In college, I picked up basic p.c. skills and landed a good job at UPS. I thought my troubles were over, but I was wrong. In 2004 I was laid off and I moved in with roommates to save money. That landlord raised my rent 3 times in 1 year, so I moved again. There my life completely fell apart. I didn’t realize that I had fallen into a deep depression, going up to 3 days and nights without sleep. I’d found a job at a library, but that didn’t work out, and I was fired. They told me that I didn’t “fit in.” At this same time, my mother sold her home and moved away to the other side of the country. My parents had finally divorced and I did not have a support system to lean on during this very difficult time. Within a week of losing the library job I was homeless.

I walked out of the room I was renting and into the abyss of homelessness, not even knowing where to look for a shelter. I didn’t know where to go. Where does one go when they are homeless, their car, under a tree or freeway overpass? I had no idea that there were shelters that women could go to. I didn’t even know that there were women’s shelters. I ended up in an unspeakable place. And because of the depression, I stayed there for 9 months, living in a nightmare. Throughout all of this time, I stayed in college. It was the one thing I still had. My grades even improved, never dropping below a B. I started working several temp assignments, one of them paying $16 an hour at Kaiser Hospital. I went to work every day, and nobody there knew that I was homeless. I went to college and worked the entire time that I was homeless.

By the end of the semester I needed real shelter. I had been living with no heat and it was freezing in December. I was very determined to find a real shelter and get help. I found WISE Place and moved in the day before Christmas. One night after I moved in, I woke up in the middle of the night and heard the heater come on and somehow I knew at that point that I was finally safe. I was finally no longer cold. I began looking for a new job soon after arriving at WISE Place. I had found a part-time job at Disneyland but it did not pay enough. So I found a decent job right away, a miracle at the time. Later, that job allowed me to rent an apartment.

The isolating feeling of being homeless was completely the opposite feeling of living at WISE Place. At WISE Place I found support and sanity. There were staff, meetings, and better than anything else, there was a super support group, who are still there for me. One would not think that a group of women could be so supportive of each other, but we were. The meeting were the best for me – even now 4 years later. WISEPlace also requires that you save money. I saved more almost than I’d ever saved before. I remember literally falling asleep at night, with a smile on my face when I lived at WISE Place.

Recently I received my Social Security statement in the mail. During the time that I lived at WISE Place and Bethany, when I was “homeless”, I earned more money in the year than any other year in my working lifetime thanks to the focus on working and saving. Today, I live in an apartment, have 2 bunnies and a kitty that I love (I brought pictures), and I have a support system in place to help me weather the difficult times in life. In September, I will take my final class to earn TWO AA degrees – meeting that life long dream.

The best part of finding out about and living at WISE Place is the network of supportive caring people that I have now, and didn’t even have in my own family.
Thank you.

I wore the cotton calico super long sundress that my mother made for me. The same dress that I wore to a Bethany fashion show recently. And I wore my black boots. I curled my hair and put in contacts. I took the contacts out before the time I had to go up on the stage, because they itched. And I just put my glasses on.

We all had a super nice catered lunch too, before I gave my talk. And Blanca also talked about her experience and her drug addicted lifestyle before finding WISE Place. But Ana’s speech was totally unexpected for me at least. Ana who works at WISE Place went first. And her story was so surprising. Because I didn’t know that she had been abused and made homeless by her own family. Nevertheless, she has persisted and now has her BS degree and works for a shelter.

Sister Louise came also, along with Grace. And I was so happy to see so many of the women who are the philanthropic people who care and give to non-profits, come up to me and hug me afterward. But I couldn’t help but think about the irony of the day yesterday, as I was there. Today I have no money except for the $200 that my mother has just sent me through Paypal. And I again have rent to pay in 10 days. Again I am unemployed and looking to keep my roof over my head. But the good part is that I am not frightened or depressed and I have people around me now who are very positive. And a few of them actually help with money for our rent. Yes, us previously homeless women who were so rejected by our own families manage to find a way in our lives. And I will.

Is This F-up?? And What Would You Do?

Well i start college next week, and since i didn’t get dorming, i got off campus. I got a roommate, i haven’t meet him yet, and he is already annoying. Yesterday, i had to look for the the house, and i called him, and he was screaming at me. Saying how it’s so simple to go to house. I was new to the neighborhood, so i can i know. Then Finally when i found the place, i went to my room, and my roommate posted a picture of how he wanted the room. I was shocked because i thought since we were roommates, we would decide how to rearrange everything. So I’m planning to move out with telling anyone..should i do this?

Give Up The Dog?

My roommate got a puppy and he has lived with us for a few months. He still has his puppy teeth but I’m not exactly sure how old he is. It’s a Golden Retriver puppy who weighs about 25 lbs now.. male
We are in an apartment and she is really neglectful and I am always taking care of her dog… I have to wake up and take the dog out..
the dog constantly wants to go to the bathroom which is really annoying when I’m trying to study.
He cries and cries, there are two cats in the apartment too.
I let him run around some but again it’s hard to get anything done because he chases the cats, will chew up everything and could piss and poop on the floor.. so when he is out.. no studying for me.
I’m really tired of all this.. I love animals and know they have feelings but If we got rid of the dog at this age would it be really cruel.
Would it mess with him psycologically because we abandoned him….
Anyone besides kids, maybe a dog breeder or vet that can give a good answer

Is This Sexual Harassment?

2 weeks ago my roommate and i asked this guy to come to our room to hang out after a birthday party in one of my friends house is over. he is not from our community but he stays here all summer since he has a job or internship somewhere around here. so we all watched tv until like he is bored and sleepy and he decided to go back to his room (i live in the 4th floor, he is in 5th) at 1 in the morning.
from there he starts to hang out with us every weekend even though we are not doing anything interesting (watch food network, mtv etc.). he becomes more comfortable hanging out with us and now he starts to eats dinner here, watch us playing xbox, and touching me.
honestly im not comfortable with that because i don’t think he remembers my name (i don’t know him well enough). and my roommate also is annoyed every time he comes around. yesterday when i was cleaning the storage room he decides to hug and lift me up without me noticing it and when i want to come out from the storage room he says..”whats the passcode” and of course he actually wants me to hug him.
i become more and more uncomfortable with him around. my roommate and i tried to get rid of him one day but he knocks louder when we don’t answer it.

Help Me I Think I Have A Stalker….?

so it all started when my roommate was getting annoyed because her friend was sending her messages in german. So i decided to argue with her friend in german because I know the language and just wanted to stop my roommate’s complaining. so this all took place over facebook.
the next thing I know this guy friends me on face book. I didn’t mind because I like making new friends and any friend of my roommate is a friend of mine.
But now he fb chats to me all the time.And i am too nice to say “hey I don’t know you in person so stop talking to me online.” He seems like a nice kid though. he wants me to hang out with him to watch movies.
what do I do pleeezzzzz help.

Cat Misbehaving When Left Alone – What Can I Do To Change It?

My male cat Artemis is a very loving 10 month old kitten. He is neutered and has all of his shots and the vet says he is in perfect health. He plays well, goes in the litter box and claws where he is supposed to. This weekend however I had to leave him home with my roommate while I was away. She was home several hours a day at least and made sure to give him plenty of attention, play time and affection. However when she would leave he spent the whole weekend using her house plant and the floor as the litter box, clawing up everything and misbehaving terribly. My roommate was obviously annoyed and i’m very confused about how I can help him become more independent when we are away. Why would he not use his litter box, I know he was mad but he has never done that before in his life. I think it might be the simple fact of his hooded box may be getting to small but it seems like he just wanted to let me know he was not happy. As soon as i arrived home he was affectionate and ready to play like normal. Has anybody else gone through a situation like this before? and if so, does anyone have any tips on how I can help my little guy adjust better to alone time? I can’t take him everywhere from now on and my roommate is now terrified to watch him.

If You Inherited Millions Of Dollars…give To Friends/roommates?

Would you give some money to friends for whatever reason?
I’m asking because I have this roommate that I gave $200 a while back so he wouldn’t go to jail and hasn’t paid me back and takes everything for granted.
I also have a few roommates who doesn’t have a car and always bums off my pos car($1000 or less w/ loan) to go to work or etc. I tell them to get themselves a pos because it’s annoying to be depended on and has been like that for a good 8 months or so. They don’t seem to act urgent to get a vehicle.
I’m a guy with principles believing that you should be independent and you keep what you earn and not having to support others through your hard earned cash.
Would you guys give money to those kind of people if you ever inherited that much money?

How to Bring Up Your GPA in College

If you had a bad semester at college (or a few), it’s not too late to bring up your GPA. The trick is balancing out your classes with your major and selecting easy classes for your electives. You may not get a 4.0 GPA, but any increases to your GPA helps.

Step 1

When selecting classes for a semester, make sure to take the necessary classes you need for your major. Then for your electives, choose some fun classes that you will enjoy, sound fairly easy, and know for certain you can get an A without much difficulty like martial arts, dance classes, beginning photography, intro to theater, etc.

Just be mindful of the number of units for each class because you don’t want to make the mistake of being short credit units in order to qualify for part-time or full-time student status(i.e. don’t take too many 1.00 unit classes).

Step 2

Another way to bring up your GPA in college is to choose a minor and take classes that focus on your strong points. For example, if you like to write and are good at it, choose classes with topics of interest where you only write papers. Likewise,….

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4 Real Reasons Why Diets Don’t Work

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/311631_4-real-reasons-why-diets-dont-work

Empty Spaces

It’s not just me who is unemployed again, it’s a lot of people, a whole lot. And I am scared. Down below my apartment is another vacated apartment. The apartment next to me has been empty since before I moved in here. And there’s one I can see from my front door, that’s down below that’s been empty for as long as I’ve been here. Here’s the thing…I’m not worried about the empty apartments. I’m worried about becoming homeless again. I’ve been laid off again. And my unemployment insurance isn’t enough to pay my rent. I don’t mind the quietness here. It’s a beautiful complex. I just moved here while I had a job. But then I lost my job and can’t find another one.

Nevertheless, I still have to keep going. I’m in a much better position being in a place then not. At least I can try and talk to the manager here. When I moved in, she said that they take 2 post dated checks from the tenants who can’t pay on the 1st. That’s much more agreeable than the previous apartments, who will evict anybody on the 6th, with no possibility of taking partial payments or post dated checks. This was why I moved here. And I paid my rent yesterday too. I had to borrow some money though. But I still did it. My rent is just a tiny bit more than the other apartment.

Homelessness is only a month away it seems. Lately it’s been on my mind again. The thought of being homeless again, never ever goes away. Once a person goes through that experience, the memories don’t ever completely go away. And they return quickly when one is in a similar circumstance.

I can definitely say though, that I am nowhere near as depressed and unconnected from people as I was 4 years ago, right before I became totally homeless and desperate. Now, today, I don’t feel as desperate. But that feeling is right around the corner it seems. Today I have connection and a network of supportive and helpful people around me. 4 years ago I had nothing. And 4 years ago I was living with strangers and renting a room from totally intolerant people who cared nothing about me, but only about dollars, that would pay their mortgages.